There are coaches who change games with substitutions. Then there is Thomas Tuchel, who apparently decided to change careers in the 72nd minute.

Up until then, he was England’s manager. From that moment on, he became a waiter.

And what a service it was.

By switching to a 5-4-1 and flooding the pitch with defenders, Tuchel didn’t protect England—he served them to Argentina as the evening’s main course.

Chef’s special: Roast England.

Argentina had been searching for a way back into the game. Tuchel kindly handed them the menu. Instead of keeping England on the front foot, he invited wave after wave of Argentine pressure, as if saying, “Your table is ready, gentlemen.”

People often say that a great coach knows how to “weigh up” a match. Tuchel certainly proved to be an excellent weigher. He kept adding defenders until the tactical scales tipped completely. Every substitution was another garnish on a dish that had already been prepared for Argentina.

The Albiceleste didn’t have to cook. Dinner had already been served.

The greatest irony is that England didn’t lose because they lacked talent. They lost because their manager turned the game into a survival exercise far too early. Against a team with Argentina’s technical quality, retreating into a defensive shell with nearly 20 minutes to play is less a tactical masterstroke and more an open invitation.

If there were an award for the best service of the night, the winner would be obvious.

Bravo, Thomas. Few managers can say they personally served England to Argentina for dinner on a silver platter.